I have been a bit of a funk lately. Part of it started after graduation. You would think that I would be estatic that I finished school but I had been working on that goal for so many years that it became of a part of what defined me. I am not married, I am childless, so school and work make a major part of who I am.
The funk intensified when the economy really began to tank. I really thought that when I took my job more than 8 years ago that this would be the company from which I retired. Well I am not so sure about that anymore. There are two contributing factors.
1. Will the company be here more than 15 years into the future?
2. Will I still want to work here for that long?
You see, at the company that I work for and at many others, the mentality is that the sales rep rules the roost. We that don't generate income are at their beck and call. But when you see the books (like me) and see that even those that are not earning their keep are still earning more than me it makes for a bummer attitude. Factor in that the company has proposed to cut wages by 20% and to make us contribute to our health insurance and you have ONE GIANT freak out on my part. I have had to make some very drastic changes to my lifestyle to adjust to my new budget. I am refinancing my home, I have cut out my weekly manicures (this one is the most difficult as I have gotten a manicure every week for 8 years). I am bringing my breakfast (I start work at 7am) and my lunch to work. I am making some of the changes necessary to get me by on this strict budget. The last item contributing to my funk is my weight. One year ago I was 25 pounds lighter and much more toned and in shape. I was by no means at my ideal weight but I was working at it. I am making strides to reverse this bad eating and no work outs attitude. I have cut out pop (Diet Coke) and went to the health club on Monday. I have my clothes to go today after work. I must confess that I NEVER thought that a 45 minute walk on a slightly inclined treadmill would make my body so sore. It wasn't my legs or feet it was my hips. YIKERS, what a wake up call, to have a body that feels 80 when I am less than 50. Not good, so with the awakening of spring I am going to awaken to a new attitude and GET MYSELF OUT OF THIS FUNK!