Friday, April 04, 2008

No Card Today

I did make a card today that is so similar to the one posted yesterday that I am not even going to show it. That card is for my other great niece, Kassidy who is the younger sister by 1 year and 2 weeks to Virginia. In all I have 4 great nephew's and 3 great nieces. The oldest will be 12 and the youngest is 3.

Okay, since I am not posting a card I will tell the tale from online dating. As you know if you have been reading this blog I have "put myself online" to find a man. So, to follow is an e-mail exchange (within the dating site) between myself and a man whom I wasn't very interested in. For this post he will be referred to as MR. X.
My profile on this site was created by my co-worker Kerrie and she listed my city as the one in which we work.

Here is the exchange:

Mr. X: Oh Bensenville. That's closeby. I visit B theater sometimes. Drop me a note at (e-mail has been omitted for privacy reasons)and let's get acquainted. What are your weekends like? I'll be on this site another few days. Mr. X Are you a baseball fan?

A day or two passed and the next e-mail from Mr. X arrived in my onsite mailbox.
The subject line was: "Why no message"
Mr. X: Why are you here

Me: The reason that I didn't respond to your message is that I have had too many men all ask to correspond via their yahoo e-mail accounts. I am very skeptical of this and therefore do not answer those messages.

I don't like giving out my yahoo e-mail address because it gives a name on e-mails. From a previous online dating experience where someone got my name from the yahoo e-mail, figured out what company that I worked for by asking what my company did, found it online and showed up at my place of employment, I don't give out personal information this early in the getting to know you stage. I now have a fake last name on my yahoo e-mail because of that encounter.

Mr. X: How do you expect to get to know anyone?? Why be here if you don't get together with people

Me: I never said that I wouldn't get to know someone WITHIN THIS SITE. I don't reply to men who only want to correspond via their personal e-mails. Why be on this site if you only wish to communicate outside the parameters of the site? This place is designed to get to know a person within the site and then when you feel comfortable and a connection to share your information for outside contact. I wish to learn about a person a bit before I give out personal information where my e-mail may be sold or hacked by entities that I do not wish to have contact me.

Mr. X: Once you get to know someone through profile, then you would e-mail, phone and form a friendship. If someone is serious about making friendships and not just playing games with profiles. If someone doesn't send a real e-mail they are just playing with people. That's like emotional abuse.

Me: I don't understand how you can really get to know someone via their profile. The getting to know you stage is in my opinion, through e-mail. So, if you wish to get to know ME, then I would suggest that you correspond with me via this medium, within this site. Perhaps, if I felt comfortable I would provide an outside e-mail. The whole purpose of this and other sites like this is to allow people to get to know a person prior to divulging personal information. The fact that your are VERY arguementative via this medium causes me much concern about giving you any of my personal information.

Three days passed before this final note sent by Mr. X.

No, YOU are argumentative. Why would anyone want to be around you. That's why you are here. Anyone who is serious about getting to know someone writes through e-mail and does not play silly games. Then they send their phone number and talk. You obvious will never get to meet anyone because of the way you act. Everyone else here gave out their e-mail or wrote mine right away, and shortly we began talking on the phone. Only you are wasting your silly time doing nothing. You could have spent $15 on giving a poor person a couple of meals.

I never got to respond as his profile was pulled from the site. Boy am I glad that I didn't give him my yahoo e-mail address. It bothered me a bit not to be able to respond (even though I do have his yahoo address). I really wanted to know his reasoning behind the $15 for the poor. I don't know about him but a month's worth of time on that site was not $15, it was much more expensive.

Do you think I was being to cautious?
Should I respond to men that I am really not drawn to?

Your advice and comments are appreciated.


Michelle said...

I do not think you are being too cautious, Connie. Boy, that last email would really have hurt my feelings.

Fe-Fe said...

I think you are totally in the right on this one. You never know who it is you are talking to or what their intentions really are. It would certainly freak me out if someone tracked me down via my email and showed up at my work.

It is better to be over cautious and stay safe than to give in to someone like that and risk getting into trouble. If he doesn't understand your reasoning on this then he's not the right person for you anyway and you are better off not getting to know him better. I certainly wouldn't want a boyfriend with that attitude.

Don't beat yourself up about it, you are obviously a much better person than he is and I'm sure your Mr Right will make himself known to you before you know it!! :-)

Diane said...

You did the right thing Connie,there's all kinds of crazy people out there! He's not worth the worry,don't be hard on yourself. Best of luck in the future!
Check my blog cuz you're one of the 3 PIF winners!

SpAzzGiRL said...

I wouldn't have responded to that first email or the follow up one at all if I wasn't interested...but that's just me. In the meantime I suggest a seperate email address in yahoo for this online stalking, I mean dating, and you can set it not to send your name at all.
Good luck, you are WAY braver than I!

Elaine said...

You're right and that gut instinct is what I think you should continue to go with! Don't waste your time giving that one another thought!